What is your purpose? What is your ‘Why’?
Why are we here? What is the meaning of life?
Jeez, got any harder questions for me, small business world / other parents / family / world in general?
If, like me – you are exhausted with being asked all these things, and you are weary of reading articles on how to be a small business owner, or an entrepreneur, or a parent, or a good human being – welcome to my world of ‘no judgement’!
I welcome you into my like-minded little cocoon, where no-one is going to ask you to fill out a form to say what are the 3 things you are most passionate about, or your strengths and weaknesses, or your purpose, or your ‘Ikagai‘ (Japanese concept – ‘reason for being’.)
Welcome to quiet.
I’ll put the kettle on and make us a cup of tea. (just black tea here, no herbal, green, not even peppermint or an Earl Grey in sight!)
Welcome to warmth, and fluffy clouds, and mindfulness….. (WHAT, wait a minute?!)
No, but seriously – it all gets too much sometimes doesn’t it? The expectation we put on ourselves to know it all. To have life figured out, to be ‘the best you’, to have everything organised – to have your s**t together basically.
Well, I’m here to say I don’t agree. (sucks in breath like a mechanic looking at your car…) – a bit controversial Celia – I’m interested to see where you’re going with this…
Can we all please just slow down?
Accept that we are all very different – we have different things going on in our lives, we have different strengths and weaknesses, and therefore – we CANNOT BE ALL THINGS TO ALL PEOPLE, and WE ARE NOT DESIGNED TO BE PERFECT.
My idea of perfect is different to your idea of perfect anyway. My perfect day is different to yours. My way to relax is probably different to yours. And that’s all perfectly OK.
So what’s the point of todays rant? It’s a combination of things – it’s my frustration at constantly seeing people around me trying to match up to others expectations, and then being horribly disappointed in themselves when they don’t meet the other persons ‘standards’. It’s then seeing these strong, clever, talented individuals begin to wear themselves down over a period of time, about not being ‘good enough’… And it’s about the fact that we all need to
(now, have that cup of tea I made you earlier – this is essential.)
Now – do you have a place that is your ‘comfort zone’? It might be somewhere you can be on your own (I’m not going to lie – one of mine is the bathroom at home – and even then, the dog sits outside the door with her tail sticking underneath, just to let me know she is there…). Or it might be a networking event that is full of like-minded people who ‘get you’. Maybe it’s even going supermarket shopping (alone!) on autopilot.
Just somewhere that you feel good, or feel comfortable, and you can STOP your brain.
Here’s some more examples of mine:
at my kids swimming lesson, playing word games on my phone
- – I feel rested and content (as long as I’m winning..!)
- at my kids gymnastics class for 90 minutes, reading LinkedIn articles that I’ve saved 6 months ago (ok, more like 2 years ago!)
- – I feel like I’m learning new things
- in my shared office space, laughing with the other parents who work from there, about the latest disaster in my life (it feels good to laugh about it afterwards, rather than mull over it).
- – I put things into perspective, and knowing that others have similar things going on in their lives helps. And sometimes someone has a brilliant solution for me that I hadn’t considered!
- Out and about in my community, popping into local shops and buying gifts
- – I feel connected to my community, and good about supporting the local economy
You know what? You need to figure out where your ‘moments’ are, and conserve them, and don’t skip them.
And over time, when you are feeling calm and comfortable, and rested – THEN maybe you can write down some thoughts on what your passions are, and what your purpose in life is, and how you can figure out ways to improve your life.
Take a moment to smell the roses (or the jasmine in my case). But don’t try and do it because you feel you have to, or let others rush you into figuring it all out.
You are YOU, and you have your own greatness – and once you are ready, you can open the door of the cocoon and proudly show it off.
But for now, concentrate on finding the ‘moments’, savouring them, and eventually using them to slowly figure it all out.
Disclaimer: Yes, I did mostly write this about myself, and no, I haven’t got it all figured out yet. But I’m a lot clearer than I was, because I’ve found my moments and used them wisely!